So, here is Grumpy Kid.
|Grumpy Kid is not amused|
Grumpy Kid gets mad when it is time to turn off his game on the xbox or tablet. Grumpy Kid gets mad at dessert limitations, when it's time to brush teeth instead of having one more mug of tea, when it's time to do that written report for school after procrastinating for two weeks.
Grumpy kid is also wicked smart, great at math, pretty good at debate, and an avid reader (of mostly comic books right now.)
|Look! Grumpy Kid not being grumpy!|
Grumpy Kid overthinks things, and can set his mind on an answer before trying to find things out. And, sometimes, he says things without thinking them through.
Example: Yesterday, driving the kids to their dad's house. Grumpy and I are talking about a disagreement that we had, the good and the bad parts of the day. Grumpy tells me that (paraphrasing here), "I'm sorry, Mom, but Dad says that you only give us treats to bribe us into liking you better, and I agree with him."
(my first internal response: I want to stab my ex)
(second response: want to defend, defend)
(third response: oh, that stings...)
But what I say is, "Honey, it's not a competition. Neither parent is better than the other. You don't have to choose."
(And then, after dropping the kids off, I cried. And cursed my ex. And cried some more. It took a little while to get over it, to get past the me-hurting feelings and on to the 'think from the kids' perspective' mode.)
I understand where he is coming from, at least I think I do. This kid idolizes his dad, and he wants to believe everything his dad says. He wants for his dad's opinions to be his own. (whether or not they are good opinions).
And I don't want to get in the way of that - except, perhaps, where his dad is being a douchenugget.
So, what is the 'Right' thing to do here? Should I be battling with my ex through our eldest child?
I don't know. I'm still trying to figure this out. And I'm waiting, earnestly, for the moment when my ex decides to grow the hell up.